Monday 22 September 2014

Jumping Without a Net....

paint, panic, run, paint, dance, paint, panic, run, breathe, go deep inside, paint, dance.....under water (or so it feels!).  This is my first three weeks back in the USA.  I'm working again.  Painting the Brazos River, dancing to non-stop two stepping music, completely happy, then when I'm done for the day, I panic.... or sometimes, in the morning when I'm running my 6 mile route (3x/week), I panic.  This is a HUGE cliff I've leapt off.  But, I keep putting one foot in front of the other, breathe deep (no matter what speed I'm going), go deep - check in, dance, paint, breathe, dance, paint, run, breathe.  This change from one continent to another (my second change in 6 months...) is proving to be the biggest challenge of my life, so far.  All I can do is keep moving forward, into the fog, absolutely trusting that the tracks are perfectly laid for my feet, even though I can't see where they are.  The subject for the commission remains elusive, but not impossible.  I need to do these two landscapes to flex my painting muscles, make sure my feet are indeed traveling the perfectly laid tracks. 
                                                                           
 
Paris, TX studio.... with beginning of  Hot Day on the Brazos

Challenges - the need for my own wheels is becoming paramount; the lack of independence is beginning to tell on my psyche, my ability to do my job.  The phone can wait til I'm in NM, as can a USA driving license, and all the other things necessary to today's life, never mind my work.  The illness of my Dad adds to the challenges, but I'm mostly so glad and honoured that I'm here right now and able to see him even for a few days at a time.  So much to be grateful for, and the knowledge that I know I'm doing the right thing for me, for my work...

I'm trying to decide if its done....what do you think??  I think it is!

Hot Day on the Brazos, 12 x 16 in., oil on board, £1,250 ($2,000 approx)

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