Wednesday, 25 November 2009


My sale is now half over, and I've not yet put paint brush to canvas. Oil paintings have sold overseas, people are talking about possibilities of purchase, but here in my studio, I feel a stagnation. I always do when its been awhile since I've put oil on a canvas. There is a painting sketched in, ready to start on the easel, but I've not been able to even turn on the light in the studio.

What kind of things hinder inspiration? Why can some kinds of life challenges spur you on, and others, sometimes equally as dark or seemingly hopeless (offering fodder for the artistic temperment), just stop you dead in your tracks.

I walk around the highlands where I live, and see the beauty, see the passion that I've always seen in this landscape. I attend ceilidh's and concerts and am moved by the passion in the musicians. But it seems that the turmoil and fear that is in my heart (even as I try to ignore it), has this time stopped me dead in my tracks. What kinds of tools do we as artists have in our arsenal to get us through times such as these? For me, its mostly finally getting so sick of wandering in circles that I just turn on the music, pick up a brush, and start - on anything. Or I'll be so inspired (like I was in Morocco) that nothing short of picking up the loaded brush and starting an oil painting of whatever it was that moved me. But sometimes, it takes awhile to push aside the voices of fear, business, monetary worries, sales, so that I can feel what it is I see.

I hope that by the next time I have something to say, I'll have gotten to that point.

Wednesday, 4 November 2009


I have decided to include all available work in my little sale. That is a nearly 50% discount (depending on exchange rate, etc.) on all available work. Paintings with galleries, in exhibitions, etc. are not included, and SHIPPING AND FRAMING are NOT INCLUDED as well at this price.

This is only until December 15, at that time all work will revert to retail price. As I said previously, "sometimes we have to reach out and ask for help in order to keep moving ahead, in order to pay old debts.....this time, I'm asking for help for both reasons! That's the thing about abing an artist; it's continually humbling. I have expenses left over from my last museum exhibition, and want to start working on my newest project - Morocco...."

Monday, 2 November 2009

Baby Steps

Today, I managed to finally take the first baby steps back to my easel. After putting so much into creating the little watercolor, I found it absolutely impossible to think about what's next until today - even with a painting sketched and ready to go on the easel! I got caught up in the voice that said, "you don't have enough, you're not gonna make it, etc., etc., moan, moan, moan..." Its so easy to do - especially right now when the economy is making us all feel fear and panic about our basic well-being!

I was talking to a friend today about the way my creativity works. That my whole life is represented in the ebb and flow of tides rather than a constant river of creativity. The trick is to relax into the moment and accept what phase I am in, trusting. Its the trusting I have trouble with when I'm in the ebb phase.....will I ever be able to paint again; I must be sooooo lazy, all I can do is wander or read or sit and think. The monkey inside my head tries to get me into the fearful, judgemental part. It only traps me if I let it!

How do I find the courage to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even if I don't have enough cash to pay my rent, buy groceries, much less paints? By finding one little thing, one little job that helps me think about painting, even if its not picking up a brush with color! Sometimes its very cutting up boards into squares that I can use. Sometimes its just rifling through photos, taking a walk, picking up my sketchbook and writing, THEN starting to draw.

Today though, it was physical. I had cut up boards while waiting for DHL last week. And today, I found just enough Gesso to ground them so that tomorrow, if possible, I can begin to work. This made today a good day. Small blessings. a little bit at a time, and soon I'm back in the flow.